I want to focus on an essential relationship behavior that you will want to practice, become good at and use frequently with your Honey: Honor and respect your partners feelings as if they are your own Our feelings are the barometer of our outside existential lives. Our feelings let us know how things are going for us inside ourselves. Feelings exist because they do, in and of themselves. We cannot choose to change, modify, not feel, or otherwise positively or negatively affect our feelings. The only choices we have are directly related to our behavior. Feelings are as normal as hunger and fatigue. When we dismiss, diminish, ridicule, criticize, mock, belittle, disparage or demean anyones feelings we are acting in the most disrespectful and unloving way. Next time your Honey (or anyone in your life, for that matter) expresses a feeling, consider hearing the feeling as a sacred offering. Be curious and compassionate. Remember: It is not your job to fix anything. She or he is not broken. It isnt necessary to offer insights, suggestions, give answers or otherwise provide brilliant advice or express profound guidance. Dont get distracted by the content of the event. Stay with the feeling(s). Your Sweetheart is experiencing and expressing normal, natural human emotion. Here are 3 simple, loving behaviors: 1. Listen with your heart. 2. Tell your partner that he or she matters to you and that his or her feelings are important to you. 3. Ask if there is anything you can do or say right now that would be helpful. Believe that your presence and your caring go a long way to soothe hurt and upset hearts. Very often people know what they need or what might be helpful. When they dont, the 3 simple, loving behaviors are enough!!! Try it and let me know how it goes! Remember, only YOU can make it happen! Copyright Dr. Jackie Black 1999-2005 If you like this article, please read more about Dr. Jackies relationship dating advice and help for issues and problems. This article may be re-published with appropriate attribution to the author including name, web site, email address and telephone number. |
