The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them. Albert Einstein

Its not a simple thing to do, to just step aside and let our strengths and gifts, natural abilities and uniqueness shine through. It is easy to say that learning to love oneself is necessary in order to fully accept the love of another, or to truly understand how to love another. Its a harder thing to do. I know.

It doesnt have to be difficult. It starts with a decision, a conscious choice to expand our own awareness and challenge the way we think, see, feel, believe and ultimately behave.

Actually, thats not that new of a concept either. In fact, professionals in the fields of psychology, counselling and coaching for example, have been working with clients on that very thing for decades. So why dont we get it?

There are far too many reasons to list. In fact for every person alive theres a uniquely different set of reasons or even excuses. But there are trends we can briefly look at for us to begin our intensive journey toward greater awareness.

The first of these trends is that weve been taught how to think and what to believe. Socrates, Plato and Aristotle designed fundamental thinking technologies and strategies 2500 years ago, and have formed the way Western civilisation would think up until now. Once someone claims to have proven they have found the truth of something, then it becomes very difficult for anyone else to disprove that truth and offer a new perspective without getting a lot of resistance.

Socrates invented the interrogatory style of argument involving strings of questions seeking either a YES or NO response. Plato continued from there, with his original idea that there IS such a thing as absolute truth. Our thinking since has been closely bound by these ideals, and to our detriment.

Take Galileo for example. In the early 1600s he designed a telescope to prove that the Earth revolved around the sun. This disproved the truth of Copernicus hypothesis that it was the other way around. This created so much controversy that people were actually afraid to look into Galileos telescope for fear of what they might actually discover.

This is called cognitive dissonance. It refers to what happens in your brain when information is presented to it which doesnt seem to fit. Sometimes information may seem so obviously different from what weve already been taught to be the truth and we struggle to know how to respond to this new information. And we can find it even more difficult to accept it simply as another perspective to explore versus having to adopt it as a truth, because were also taught to only accept well-established truths.

This way of trained thinking can cause serious consequences. In 1633, when Galileo was 70 years old, sick and completely blind, he was forced by Pope Urban VIII to make the arduous journey to Rome to stand trial for heresy. The pope accused Galileo of causing the greatest scandal in Christendom for contradicting the scriptures. On June 21, after a long trial, he was found guilty of heresy by the Inquisition and forced into covering up his own evidence. Weary and broken, the old man knelt before the pope and made his confession, I, Galileo, son of the late Vincent Galilea, Florentine, aged 70 years must altogether abandon the false opinion that the sun is the centre of the world and immobile.

The second trend follows from the above. 2500 years after Plato, much of Western society still behaves as though there actually is such a thing as absolute truth and clear cut black and white answers to everything. How bound are we now by words and discussions around truth, right, wrong, good and evil?

Were taught by our family, religions, governments, business and society in general what to believe. Were handed down our values and belief systems, instructed what behaviours are appropriate or not, and provided strict examples to follow in terms of our own development.

And it doesnt matter how much information is available to us today through a variety of mediums, by the time we have learned how to read and write, the foundations of our belief systems are already set.

For example, by the time were seven, weve already learned 90 percent of our adult responses in life. This makes a lot of sense as by this age, weve already understood quite well the meanings of words like no, you cant, you shouldnt and thats wrong.

Combine this with the fact that by age ten weve developed the majority of our language skills, so were very aware of how language forms communication and is used to say what we want or dont want. We also have learnt by this age when were allowed to speak and when were not, all based on someone elses rules.

Its no wonder then that by puberty and all the hormonal changes we go through, that our self image and esteem is in such a delicate place that were that much more susceptible to conforming with what our society states we must become.

And finally, were instructed by society, the church and even our friends and family about whats possible (and not) and how limited our potential is. We are generally not encouraged to dream, or examine perspectives beyond our current view. We are seldom invited to look inward and become more aware of our own strengths and celebrate them.

What seems most extraordinary is that were taught at some levels to love ourselves, but not instructed how or supported to do that. Most personal development material today comments on the importance of truly loving oneself in order to fully accept and experience the love of another, or to have the resourcefulness to fully love another. Yet this premise, as easy as it may sound, is incredibly difficult for us because our society, in general, doesnt support it.

For example, nearly every religion and philosophy has some form of the Golden Rule, which equates basically to treat others the same as you wish to be treated. However, it doesnt matter how many times its written about or preached, we still dont seem to be able to get it. Were back to cognitive dissonance again. The idea of being good to others, or of loving ourselves fully, doesnt match with what we see around us.

Some cultures seem to make a point of knocking down anyone who either thinks highly of themselves or is achieving remarkable things. The reasons for this all come down to one emotion, Fear.

There is so much were afraid of, and all of it is based in our thoughts, and what we think is the truth.

I firmly believe that if I can you become more aware of yourself, starting with the way you think, then this will have a dynamic effect on what you believe. Once you have a stronger grasp of your own values and belief systems, then you will be in a better place to review your own emotions and behaviours. You may choose to let go of the fear youre holding on to.

We have to start somewhere, and the best place it would seem to start is to simply focus on ourselves in a very selfish manner. And by the way, being incredibly selfish is a good thing.

How can being selfish be a good thing?

If you are willing to suspend what youve been taught about that word for a moment, Ill explain. To be honest, you spend more time thinking about you than anyone else will ever think about you. Its just natural. Your conscious and subconscious mind is devoted to you, not someone else. If we accept this as a reasonable position, then wouldnt it make sense to put some structure around that? This is a selfish or self-focused position.

Also, being selfish doesnt mean that someone elses needs arent also important. Consider how much more resourceful we can be to others, if we are first fully resourceful within ourselves? Take care of the self in order to take care of others.