Often Ive heard people talk about feeling sad, stressed or depressed. They feel hurt, angry, in a rut among other things. The reason in most cases is usually because of something thats happened to them. Maybe they crashed their car, cant afford to pay a bill that is looming, need a job or someone didnt keep their promise. The stories are endless.

But have you ever noticed how effortless it is to get things done when you are feeling good? You find that you handle setbacks better, you can think of the future much more clearly, people are happy to be around you and you seem to attract everything you want. You give the right answers to the questions asked. Your children want a cuddle and so does your partner. Good problem to have right?

So why do people wallow in their problems, blame the environment, circumstances and let situations take over?

Why I hear you ask?

This is because most people have not learned to focus on what they are really thinking about.

In my life I have never met one person who can congruently say that they enjoy feeling any of those negative emotions. Have you?

They never think of how they want to feel instead.

Give yourself choice! Avoid talking about problems most of the time and thinking about what might or might not happen, what has been and cannot be changed.

I mean scream if you want to or even cry and then, do the right thing, let it go.

But if you ever find yourself feeling any of those emotions you might find it useful to do the following:

1. Be solution oriented Lets face it what has happened has already happened, you cannot change it. Start thinking about what you can do to resolve whatever it is you are dealing with. Adopt the How can I solve this attitude; from your how? will come all the ideas to resolve your challenges.

2. Decide how you want to feel - Realise that there is nothing to gain from allowing a negative issue take over your mind, for hours and days. They only incapacitate you. The power to solve issues comes when you are feeling good, ecstatic, joyous irrespective of the problems you face.

3. Focus on what you could be happy about Of all the unexpected things that can happen in your life right now, there are things in place that already make you happy. Think of your accomplishments, how about those things you did that people said couldnt be done, who loves you and who have you had the privilege of loving. The blessings are there if youll only look and focus on them.

4. Be a victor not a victim No matter what youre going through, somebody else has been through it and come out the other side. Even better, is the fact that there are people in worse situations than you. Know, believe and decide that you are capable of handling your problems, after all, you wouldnt have that problem unless you can solve it.

One of my mentors, Paul Elliott, often uses a phrase which I adopt at every opportunity and that is that State Dictates. The state of mind you are in is going to decide whether you do what you want to do or not. Whether you see the answers you want or not. Whether you can even think yourself into an opportunity or out of challenges. That is a discussion for another day.

The message is you dont become happy because things are going well, you need to be happy for things to get and be well.

Decide to be bigger than your challenges. Act in the moment, YES! The moment, the present; After all yesterday is gone! Stop living in the past.

Stay outstanding!