Resentments

A wise friend once said that holding onto resentments is like trying to crush a sandspur between your fingers. You might eventually do it, but it sure is going to hurt you in the process.

Life tip: Forgive. Release yourself from the pain and focus on the future.

Procrastination

"I'll do it later" has to be the biggest con job we can run on ourselves. Procrastination fosters the belief in "someday," which never comes because it just isn't on the calendar.

Life tip: The next time you are tempted to procrastinate, simply put it off. Procrastinate about procrastinating. Do it now, procrastinate later.

Rationalizations

While excuses hold us back from doing the things we know we need to do, rationalizations sear our conscious to allow us to do the things we know we should not do.

Life tip: Another way to spell the word rationalize is "rational lies." Tell yourself the truth. There is no good rationalization for doing something you know is wrong.

Expediency

The desire to get things done quickly can be a good thing. But when expediency takes the place of effectiveness, watch out. This happens often with parents and kids. Sure we could do it quicker and better, but what are they learning?

Life tip: Don't sacrifice effectiveness for expediency. Slow down enough to do a job well or to show someone else how to do a job well.

If onlys

If onlys come wrapped in the package of regrets. I've worked with people whose entire lives were wrapped around one or two if onlys, as if focusing on if onlys could change anything.

Life tip: Take one good long hard last look at all of your if onlys. Lift out what you can learn from them to use in your future, the rest of your life. Then, taking these learnings with you, turn around and head into your future.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com