Some people cant say no. They enroll in too many courses, hold down too many jobs, volunteer for too many tasks, make too many appointments, serve on too many committees, have too many friends. They are trying to be all things to all people all at once all by themselves.
- Dr. J. Grant Howard

You now have permission to say no. You can learn to say a gracious, but firm no to:

* Cell phones
* Making homemade cookies for the Halloween carnival
* The computer
* Attending a birthday party for your nephew
* Pagers
* The TV
* Answering the phone every time it rings
* Your kids request to play sports every night of the week
* Anything that takes away from your familys dinner hour
* Answering machines
* Working on your sabbath rest day
* Heading the committee that only you are perfect for
* Being on the committee that you have always been on

This is just the beginning of the list of things you should practice saying no to from time to time. Are these things bad? No. But can you see how learning to say no would help you create some much needed margin in your life for your most important things the best things?

For many people, learning to say no to good things is a very radical thought. It seems sowell rude, doesnt it?

Try this:

Mrs. Smith, I wont be able to bake 6 dozen cookies for Johnnys class carnival booth, but I can bring a couple of packages of store bought cookies.

Gee, Sue, Im very flattered that you thought of me to head that committee, but I will not be able to do it this year. Im sure you understand.

Tell your business team I dont take work calls on Sunday, but Ill look forward to hearing from you on Monday.

Or how about turning off the ringer on the home phone during your evening family time?

Now, that wasnt so hard was it?

If you believe its time to get radical about managing your stress (and if you are reading this, I bet you do!), then I suggest you try this assignment for one entire week:

Say no to every single offer or request that comes your way.

There might be something you really want to dosay no anyway. You can always go back later to say yes, but for one whole week do the difficult thing and say No, thank you.

If people refuse to take no for an answer, dont give in. Simply say No, thanks. I feel honored that you would ask me, but at this time I have to decline. You dont have to give an excuse or a reason. If a friend just keeps pressing you, just say Im busy with other things right now, Im sure you understand. Thanks for asking. No matter how the other person responds, just keep repeating your no statement in a kind, consistent, and neutral tone of voice.

For some of you, thinking of doing this may cause you to break out in hives. Trust me - you will soon realize that life will go on even when you say no to some perfectly good things. It will get easier and easier to do. Youll learn how to start differentiating between the things that you truly want to do (because they are the best things) and the things that youve been doing in the past out of a sense of obligation.

Learning to say a guilt-free no is a skill that will reap big rewards and give you your life back!

Edi Sowers

Edi Sowers has been leading, coaching, counseling, and teaching people from all walks of life for over 25 years. She transitioned at the rank of Commander from a successful and challenging 21 year career as a Naval Officer to become a business and life strategy coach in the private sector.

She works primarily with women business owners who work at home and have the unique challenge of balancing personal and professional priorities while building a successful business and home life.

Edi is the founder of Christian Adoption Moms, a division of LifeHouse Coaching, which is focused on providing support, encouragement and information to this unique group of women. Edi and her husband are proud adoptive parents themselves of a daughter born in China.