Yes there is blame here, blame for all the ideas that float around our minds inducing stressful feelings from subjective moral and social standards. I was asked the other day to run a class on Thinking outside the box what a joke! I asked who built the BOX. What is the box? Where did it come from? Who does it restrict? Wow! What a load of limiting thoughts and we had not even got started. What those limiting metaphors people because the whole of limiting psychology relies on them to keep you in a constant state of stress. They seem to believe that society in general works better under pressure. They seem to think that unemployment is a bad thing. All this causes stress, all this causes us to think in ways that promote the feelings that we are in constant fear of consequences of our actions. Even the word consequences have negative connotations why? No this is not a political rant but a quick introduction to wake you from a slumber pattern that induces stress almost everyday in one form or another throughout your life. The reasons are plentiful the solutions are almost never given. The difficulty many people have when it comes to reducing stress is that they pit their will against a very big opposition. This opposition is made up of the media, perceived social acceptance, religious dogma and most powerful of all, your own subconscious. Almost all the books relating to stress reduction involve attempts to think around the problems that cause stress in the first place. And there is a deadly assumption there, that it is a problem that causes stress. That sort of advice and pseudo attempts to reduce (not combat, we avoid war metaphors since they imply defeat before we start) stress serves in increase the very situation we are trying to avoid! So let me help to dissolve the idea of stress in ways that you can relate to and re-program your own subconscious. I have listed two basic approaches here that will help the idea that stress isOk Im going to use a war metaphor herebut only to show you why it works. Lets assume that stress is an enemy and you are defending against it. It has more guns than you it has more troops (thoughts and feelings) than you. So what are you going to do? Well personally Im going to stick my hands in the air and spend the rest of the war in a camp; point is Im not in the fight anymore. Now let me translate that for you in terms of non-conflict language. TIP ONE; I will assume that you work in an office where other people are also working with you. Go get a letter, memo or report of some descriptiongot itgood. Now place it down where you can read it. Now focus on one FULL STOP DOT. Keep your eyes fixed on that full stop dot for the next five minuets at least. Sounds crazy? Maybe but just do it (dont try itDO it). Over then next five minuets you will feel your self starting to dissolve the stress, amazing what such a small dot can do eh? Oh and while your at it your not allowed to feel guilty ok. TIP TWO: For this you need to go sit somewhere that is going to be peaceful for you, no interruptions no disturbances. Now you have to separate the stressful thoughts from the feelings. So have a think about what stresses you first, then explore the feelings it invoke within you. Now remember I mentioned that (limiting, conflicting war metaphor above) here is where it has relevance. Once you have separated the thoughts from the feelings I want you to give up. Thats right mentally put up your hands and surrender to those feelings. Reduce the conflict, dont attempt to fight it accept it fully and without judgment on self or others. It is important for you to be absolutely non-judgmental here towards your self and other. You are going to spend the next ten minuets in total non-judgmental mind-state and when was the last time (if ever) you did that? It is not your place during this simple exercise to list or think that your feelings are right or wrong, they are simply your feelingsthey are neutral ground. They are your feelings and they need to be totally accepted by you. Once you have done this you will notice that the conflict within you has ceased simply because in all honesty IT DOES NOT MATTER ANYMORE. This is not to say you do not care or have been irresponsible because to say any of those things or anything else for that matter would be judging yourself and youre not going to do thatare youanymore. I do hope this has or will help some of you and for those who feel it would not work for themTake noteThe practical application of this article is a THOUSAND TIMES MORE POWERFUL than the words it took to explain it. |
