What have we got when we dont have self-esteem? How do we know we've got it? Is it taught to us as children? How do we get it? Are we born with it? Many many questions that only through awareness of our inner selves can we ever know the answers to.
Self-esteem is a bit of a buzz word yet certainly a jewel to possess. Without it we cannot be who we truly were destined to be. All our gifts and talents cannot be realized because we dont think we deserve to prosper, low self-esteem. If we do not value ourselves above EVERYTHING else in this world we are like a ship out at sea with no rudder. We bob along allowing the wind to take us any which way it blows. Now that might sound exciting but who's in control of the ship? The wind is of course, do we want someone or something controlling our destiny.
Self-esteem says "I am worthy", "I deserve as good as anyone", "I like myself and if you dont like me well that's your rightful opinion, I can't please everyone".
The easiest way to obtain this jewel is to be taught it from the moment we're born by our parents, however if they havent got it, HOW CAN THEY TEACH IT? Sadly this is the case with a majority of parents; they do their best with what they were taught and pass it on down the line to us. Now being born to young parents whose parents didnt teach them to love themselves can be a challenge, for the individual as well as society as a whole. How many people do you know whose parents taught them to truly value themselves and be true to their own heart and not please others over themselves?
What will people think? I hate those words. Who gives a stuff what other people think? If I honestly know what's best for ME. How much of our lives have we wasted putting ourselves down in our heads. All day our mind chatters away with many ideas, thoughts and opinions. What do we say about ourselves to ourselves? Have you ever stopped to listen?
Self-esteem actually defines the difference between a successful person and a loser. Successful people believe they deserve the very best, that they're worthy of the very best that life has to offer. A loser believes and tells you "nothing really good happens to me 'cause I'm not worth it".
If our parents didnt teach us to love ourselves, we have to do it. In a way we have to re-parent ourselves with our own self talk. We have to pat ourselves on the back, not wait for someone else to do it, because they just might not.
When we continually cut ourselves down you can bet we're pretty good at cutting others down. When we respect ourselves and allow ourselves to make mistakes we'll allow others to do the same.
I believe it's a fact that if you dont love yourself you cannot possibly love another". I know that might seem untrue to you but hey, THINK ABOUT IT. Youre the closest person you know, and how you treat and value that closest person to you (yourself) is your example of your ability to love another. The jewel of self-esteem is within all of us; it has to be mined out. We have to dig very deep in some cases and its dark in a mine. Its cold at first, it's never been excavated before. Is it new territory which can seem scary and a little painful when you are working hard to find your prized possession? Once found though it's yours to keep, you will never lose it as it only has YOUR name on it.
When you show it to others, it shines beautifully and they all want to know where you got it from. Some will follow your example and go mining themselves; others may tell you they dont have a mine. Some might tell you it looks ghastly but that wont worry you because you'll know it's the most magnificent thing you have ever possessed.
The jewels sparkle never dims, even through the hard times. Our boat has a rudder now and the wind can only take us off course a little bit, only now we know and are only too aware, that we are the captain of the ship.
Monique Louise Hill
http://www.wounded-healer-support.com
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