Here's a newsflash - teenagers lie to their parents.

Fortunately no huge amounts of taxpayer dollars were spent to discover that tees lie to their parents. It's just something I have noticed while doing what I do for the last 25 years.

Because the average 15 year old is 15 going on 25 and 15 going on 5 all at the same time, teens can come up with some fairly convincing stories. What I believe happens is that they combine the "wisdom" and verbal ability of the 15 going on 25 year old with the "I want what I want when I want it which in NOW!" of the 15 going on 5 year old and can tell parents exactly what they want to hear.

This is called manipulation.

So why lie?

Teens will lie for one or more of the following reasons:

1. To get out of trouble.

2. To get something they want.

3. To make themselves or a situation look better than it really is.

Tips for spotting lies

1. Run the story you are hearing through the filter of the 3 reasons above. Does the story fit one or more of the 3 criteria.

2. Does the story match what you already know to be true?

And the number one way to tell if a teen is lying -

3. Does the behavior match the words?

If you have behavior on one hand and words (a story) on the other hand, and they do not match, go with the behavior.

Behavior speaks louder than words.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com