Here are five simple things that will make the next holiday party enjoyable for everyone. 1) Leave Home Without It Unless you visit like-minded people, leave your private cause at home. Read books or magazines to collect ideas on general issues. Avoid wearing pins that commemorate specific causes because these invite comments. Refrain from delivering editorials, lectures, or sermons. Remember: it's a holiday party. No one came to be fixed, changed, or converted. 2) Make Them Special Make Them Special. Encourage others to talk by asking gentle guiding questions (e.g., What are your plans for your vacation?). And then let them be the expert, regardless how much you know. Let them be right, even if they seem to be hopelessly wrong. Be impressed (or at least interested) with what they say. While they talk, give your complete attention. Remember: Appreciation is a gift that lasts a lifetime. 3) Detach Avoid taking anything personally. Accept what people say, regardless how outrageous it may sound. Just say, "Ah," while you bite your tongue (if necessary). Avoid correcting, criticizing, or complaining. Avoid telling a better story. Ignore bait that lures you into saying something foolish. Remember: People respect those who manage themselves. 4) Talk Friendly Offer compliments. Praise everything and anything, such as people's clothes, cooking, shoes, pets, new toaster, or front yard. Then be positive. Find diplomatic ways to express your ideas. Avoid sarcasm, satire, and criticism. Avoid negative words because these trigger a defensive response. Remember: People are attracted to warmth. 5) Behave Be kind to everyone. Avoid baiting people into arguments with comments on sensitive issues. Avoid subtle insults, trick questions, and unfair exaggerations. Avoid punitive stories that describe other people's failings. In general, set an example for how you want everyone else to behave at the party. Remember: It is always a bad idea to start an argument. |
