It always amazes me how business people detach themselves from their customers, especially linguistically.

Customers are referred to, over and again, as they, as in What are they thinking? and They must be crazy!

It would make much more sense to change the pronoun to we and to us.

For instance, if you want to know what will motivate customer retention and customer loyalty, ask yourself, what do I appreciate, as a customer? What keeps me coming back?

For instance, I have frequented a small, family owned Italian restaurant in Hollywood for years. Tony, the proprietor of Palermos, happens to be one of the warmest people youll ever come across, and he always greets me that way, remembering my name.

Thats simple, right? But I appreciate it, along with the effort he exerts to say thank you to me as I leave.

Tony is more than warm. Hes smart.

When he first opened, over 20 years ago, he offered a free glass of wine to people who were waiting for a table. FREE WINE!

Now, it wasnt vintage stuff, but it was drinkable, and always appreciated.

The loyal, if slightly marinated throngs who frequented Palermos always welcomed this gesture, and Im sure it kept many coming back. Moreover, it opened the spigot, when customers did get seated. They ordered moreguess what? More wine, of course, this time paying for the privilege.

Today, the free wine costs 50 cents. Hey, everything goes up, sooner or later. But Tony is still subsidizing our pleasure, making a gesture, distinguishing his place from the pack.

His secret isnt crushed grapes.

Its identifying with his customers, treating us like family, like were we, instead of them.